Let it all go. See what stays.
Easier said than done, isn’t it?
I could give you every quote on letting go. I could tell you all the reasons why it’s healthy for you to let go. I could even go further and guarantee to you that once you let go, everything that is truly yours will come (or come back) to me.
Even after I do all of that, you still won’t let go. Why?
Because you believe that holding on will make things stay. It won’t.
Here’s the truth about letting go:
It’s hard at first.
It means you have to admit that what you thought was forever may not have been meant to say.
But you will also be free to allow in EVERYTHING that IS for you.
And you can’t allow those things in if you’re still grasping for something that is already gone.
So how do you do the letting go thing? Especially when every fiber of your being is telling you to hold on?
Here’s what you do:
1. Surrender all that you think you MUST have in order to be happy.
Say to God, the Universe and yourself, “If it costs me my peace, it’s too expensive. I don’t know how to let go but I’m willing to release this. I’m willing… I’m willing” and keep saying “I’m willing to change” and let the Universe work on and in you. It happens quickly…
2. Focus on your Core Desired Feelings (CDFs), not your Core Desired Results.
That’s this whole Buddha-don’t-be-attached-thing. Yes, want what you want. But get to the bottom of why you really want that thing or person or experience. You want it because of how it’s going to make you feel. Shortcut the process by going for the feeling and basking in the feeling. The results will come on their own.
3. Declare your worthiness by stopping all coerced action.
Stop ‘trying’ to make stuff happen. Stop ‘fighting’ to make things work. You’ve lived long enough to know that when things work, they work. When they don’t, no amount of work will fix them. Let go of the need to convince, cajole, ‘make happen’ and sway. The Universe has your back. Let the Universe do its job. You do your job: faith, trusting, knowing, living joyfully in the know, appreciation for this amazing life you have, for every breath you take. You’ve got so much to be grateful for that you really don’t have time to plan how you’re going to ‘make things work.’ Put your effort and action where it belongs: on taking care of, loving, appreciating, and being yourself.
4. Love what’s left so hard that you stop feeling the loss of it.
This is the hardest one. I read a book called Love it Until it Lets You Go. You know the quickest way to let go of someone or something? Love that person or thing with such depth, such power and such passion that you get so caught up in the act of loving and being love that you forget that the person or thing is gone. At that moment, one of two things will happen: 1) that thing or person will come back or 2) you’ll be so full of love you’ll no longer need them to.
At the end of the day, one of my favorite quotes sums up the truth about letting go:
If you have to force it, leave it.